When I’m Not Reading: More Awkward and Embarrassing Stories

January 23, 2017 Discussion, When I'm Not Reading 23


Many of you probably wonder what kind of riveting things happen in our everyday lives so we have decided to sporadically allow you a glimpse! Be excited. Whether it be a funny story or something so strange that happened we had to share it, you’re going to sit there and listen to it! Or else. This time, I will be talking about some funny and embarrassing things that have happened to me (again.) Part one here!


Guys in Suits

A couple of months ago when I was at my university’s main campus in the bowling alley/pool table area I was standing with one of my good friends watching a group of guys play pool. There was this guy I had a crush on playing pool a ways away and he just happened to be wearing a really tight suit.

There was no one else around so I, at regular speaking volume, was like “Man, I just love guys in suits.” My friend didn’t respond. Internally I was like what the heck does she not agree? does my friend not like guys in suits? I must encourage suit-liking. So more adamantly (and loudly) I said “Don’t you like guys in suits? The way a fine tailored one just hugs their body…” And I went on to explain, in detail I will spare you guys, the merits of suits on guys.

My friend still didn’t say anything and her face was totally blank so I kind of did a little huff and turned around to face the table area.

Turned around to face a group of middle-aged men having a business meeting at the table directly behind me. In suits. They were silent and looking at me.

Absolute mortification.

That explained why my friend was so uncomfortable. I asked her why she didn’t stop me and she said she thought I knew they were behind me and that I was doing in on purpose because I was so loud.

Purse: Lethal Weapon

In high school I refused to wear a backpack because I hated how they looked (so practical) so instead I jammed all my textbooks and notebooks into huge fashion purses. In the cafeteria one time I forced my friend to walk past my crush’s lunch table with me, and he just happened to be sitting on the end. My fifty pound purse chose this moment to slip off my shoulder. I grabbed the strap and hauled it back onto my shoulder, but the bulk of the bag hit the back of his head so hard it actually forced his head down onto the table, causing a faceplant. The timing couldn’t have been worse even if I tried. I kept walking and pretended it never happened and he never said anything.

Screamed at Someone Trying to Flirt with Me

My A.P. United States history class in high school always had us doing random activities. One time we were split up into groups and each group made a floor to ceiling length poster to hang around the classroom (classy wallpaper). I got stuck taping our poster so I had to stand on a chair. I had just got my balance when, all of the sudden, I felt hands suddenly close around my hips. I’m super jumpy because of my anxiety to when I felt the hands I immediately screamed at the top of my lungs. The whole class stopped what they were doing and turned to look at us. The hands belonged to a guy always flirted with me and my friend, and he never really talked to me after that.

Dug Through Trash in Front of Class

Same class, different activity. This time the teacher had us doing something with watercolor (history class why) and I was like hey we need a safe way to collect water for these paints. I think all the cups were gone or something so I had the genius idea to actually dig through the trash to find a used bottle for water. My friend sort of stood there by the trash can awkwardly why I (too enthusiastically, probably) dug through the trash. I was so distracted I missed the fact the teacher was making an announcement at the front of the class and actually stopped because I was also at the front of the class, digging through the trash.

I also had to dig through two different trash cans on a different date, our house one and the city one, because I thought I had thrown my retainer away. It had been on my desk all along.

Fell into Teacher’s Upper Chest Area

In 8th grade there was this kid who had a borderline obsessive crush on me to the point where he even would bother my friends incessantly asking for my number. I would never give it to him and I ignored him so he apparently started to harbor a grudge for me. In English one day we were all standing in a circle doing some activity and I stepped forward to play my part and he put his foot out and tripped me. I fell forward into the nearest person, which happened to be my English teacher. My face smashed right into her… chest area.

Next time:

  • Cockroach vs Tarantula Standoff
  • Stung by Bark Scorpion
  • Saved a Beagle’s Life
  • Teacher Asked Me Why I Hated Him
  • Fifty Shades of Grey with Religious People

What are some of your awkward stories?


23 Responses to “When I’m Not Reading: More Awkward and Embarrassing Stories”

  1. scar

    If it’s any consolation, I was once standing outside the lunch hall at my old school, and I was wearing a backpack. It had this little pocket on the front of it and I was always paranoid that the pocket might come open and things would fall out, so I would periodically reach one hand behind me and sort of grab the pocket to make sure the velcro bit was closed.

    Well, this one day I did that just as a teacher walked past, and I grabbed him right in the crotch… :(
    scar recently posted…Girls On Fire by Robin Wasserman

  2. Ichabod Temperance

    I was in a busy, late night breakfast restaraunt {like a Waffle House} with some friends. It was noisy with many loud conversations. The waitress was taking our order. My friend was not having anything. I wanted him to have something with us, so I said to the waitress, “Tell my friend how good your pie is.” The entire restaraunt immediately went silent for three seconds, and then busted up laughing.
    Ichabod Temperance recently posted…Of Fury and Temperance

    • Alise

      Ahaha, that’s great! If it’s anything like our Waffle Houses I’m sure they have heard/seen a lot of crazier things though :P

  3. Lina

    Ahh you’re a great storyteller! These definitely cracked a smile for me. A bit concerned that so many guys who had crushes on you thought that their behavior was acceptable, though! One embarrassing moment that I never have trouble recalling is walking off the field after soccer practice with a friend, and telling her why I hated British accents (I’ve since amended my opinion!), especially the BBC British kind of accent. She then turned to tell me that her mother was British. I still have to cringe a little, haha.
    Lina recently posted…A Quick Update, Or, Where I’ve Been and What’s to Come

    • Alise

      Thank you! :D Ah well it was high school and the guys there weren’t super mature. BAHA, I’ve done similar to that – it’s always an awkward bit of silence after that.

  4. Wattle

    Man, I’m suddenly glad I went to an all girls boarding school so didn’t need a backpack/bag (just carried the books I needed around lol) and awkward encounters with the opposite sex were few and far between!

    Are you one of those people that relives horrifying things from their past, just randomly? I get embarrassing moments pop into my head all the time and wonder why I remember this thing from 1999 but not what I had for dinner two days ago :(
    Wattle recently posted…Book Review #3: Entwined by J.C. Harroway

    • Alise

      Yes, totally! It’s worse because I have social anxiety so these things live with me in vivid detail forever haha. I completely understand; sometimes I will be trying to fall asleep and then remember something and I’m like ahhhhh noooo.

  5. Micheline @ Lunar Rainbows Reviews

    Alise, the ‘guys in suits’ one could have totally happened to me! Like, to the point where I’m surprised that it hasn’t already XD As someone with anxiety, I get the screaming out one but it’s a bummer it happened to a nice/flirty guy! Oh and the purse one? Pretty sure that actually DID happen to me at one point or another…fml! Thanks for sharing these ♥
    Micheline @ Lunar Rainbows Reviews recently posted…Review: Life, the Universe and Everything

    • Alise

      Yeah it was bound to happen when you consider how often I bring it up with my friends xD YES exactly! Haha, purses are weapons,

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